1. nonjutsu:

    *In a Job Interview*

    Interviewer: so tell me, why should we hire yo—

    Me:

    image

    Interviewer: …I…I don’t see how that is supposed to hel—

    me: 

    image

    Interviewer: i-if you could please stop doing t-tha—

    me: 

    image

    Interviewer: SHIT BOI YOU GOT THE JOB GATDAM!!1!

    (via lohanthony)

    6 hours ago  /  4,673 notes  /  Source: nonjutsu

  2. (via smoking-priestess)

    6 hours ago  /  8,235 notes  /  Source: allegorys

  3. Typical school day

    180mph:

    Me: *bench presses the teacher*

    Teacher: Put me down

    (via oprahkilledmydog)

    6 hours ago  /  5,415 notes  /  Source: 180mph

  4. Reasons to marry me: We'd eat pizza and listen to good music together and we'd probably fuck 14 times a week and buy too many pets and build pillow forts.

    6 hours ago  /  662,512 notes

  5. dpicchiophotos:

I had my boyfriend who smokes use matches for a few days instead of a lighter and record the date and time and whatever he was thinking about while smoking. 
It’s funny that he quit smoking a few weeks after this project. 

    dpicchiophotos:

    I had my boyfriend who smokes use matches for a few days instead of a lighter and record the date and time and whatever he was thinking about while smoking. 

    It’s funny that he quit smoking a few weeks after this project. 

    (via perfectedbymyflaws)

    6 hours ago  /  194,735 notes  /  Source: dpicchiophotos

  6. (via perfectedbymyflaws)

    6 hours ago  /  190,852 notes  /  Source: victimasdeldoctorcerebro

  7. (via perfectedbymyflaws)

    6 hours ago  /  20,534 notes  /  Source: pra-caralho

  8. (via acidic--wonderland)

    6 hours ago  /  33,342 notes  /  Source: theriverbetweenvegaandaltair

  9. (via owls-and-shit)

    6 hours ago  /  40,470 notes  /  Source: ru-cp

  10. thebloodofsadbitches:

Bruh…

    thebloodofsadbitches:

    Bruh…

    (via owls-and-shit)

    6 hours ago  /  170,298 notes  /  Source: contravention